When I lived in Brooklyn I would go out for runs on Saturday afternoons. I really enjoyed these runs along the East River down by the Williamsburg Bridge, but on the way back home I would pass an outdoor beer garden where hipsters would be spilling out onto the sidewalk, steins in hand. The fun, laid-back vibe was palpable. I would think, "Man, that looks like a good time!". But then I would think, "Well, if I was doing that... I couldn't be doing this". It was the beginning of a question I had to answer for myself.
About a year later I had asked a woman out who I knew wasn't into the nightlife scene, so we took a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. She was interesting and had a very active lifestyle that didn't include booze. As the sun fell, I had no game plan other than going to a bar. I realized I had nothing to offer her. That was a hard moment, but it motivated me. There's a saying, "We don't attract what we want. We attract what we are". I knew it was finally time to become the person I wanted to be.
Change happens in an instant... once we're ready. It's building up to being ready that can take time. We often try to numb ourselves from disappointment, but pain is a catalyst for growth, so don't dodge it. Let it hit you square in the face.